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Vegasvehicles

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What Does It Mean?

Vegas
/VAY-guhs/
noun / proper noun / state of mind
A city in the Mojave Desert where humans have collectively decided that 115°F is a reasonable trade-off for 24-hour buffets and legalized poor decisions. A metropolitan area of 2.2 million people surrounded by absolutely nothing, connected to Los Angeles by a highway that becomes a parking lot every Friday at 2pm. Vegas is simultaneously the most honest and most dishonest city in America — it promises you a good time and means it, while also promising you could win and absolutely does not mean that. The city runs on three fuels: air conditioning, optimism, and the unspoken agreement that what happens here will definitely end up on someone's Instagram story despite the motto.
Origin: From Spanish las vegas, meaning "the meadows" — named by Spanish explorers who found actual grass and springs in the desert and thought "this seems like a good spot." They could not have possibly imagined that their little meadow would eventually host a pyramid, a fake Eiffel Tower, a erupting volcano, and a building shaped like a guitar. The "Las" was dropped because one syllable is all Americans need.
Usage: "I'm going to Vegas." "For work?" "That's what I told my wife." "...Is it for work?" "There will be a conference badge involved at some point."
Vehicles
/VEE-ih-kulz/
noun, plural
Wheeled machines designed to transport humans from one place to another, though in Vegas, their primary function is transporting humans from the airport to the Strip while providing approximately nine seconds of air-conditioned relief before the next parking structure. Vehicles in Las Vegas exist on a spectrum that ranges from "sensible rental Nissan" to "rented Lamborghini with temporary plates and a driver who just learned what paddle shifters are." There is no middle ground. You are either driving a Camry or you are driving something that costs more per day than your hotel room, and both drivers are stuck in the same traffic on Las Vegas Boulevard.
Origin: From Latin vehiculum, from vehere "to carry." The Romans used vehicles to build an empire. Vegas uses vehicles to shuttle tourists between a casino shaped like a castle and a casino shaped like ancient Rome, which the actual Romans would find either flattering or deeply upsetting.
Usage: "What kind of vehicle would you like to rent?" "Something that says I'm doing well." "So... not the Kia." "The opposite of the Kia." "Convertible Corvette?" "Now we're talking. Does it come in red?" "Sir, in Vegas, everything comes in red."

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